REJECTION

DENNIS PALUMBO, erstwhile sitcom (Welcome Back, Kotter) and screen writer,  current mystery writer (his sleuth is a therapist) and shrink, came to talk about handling rejection, a subject near and dear. And he offered wonderful thoughts on writing. Maybe handling rejection includes writing doggedly, and fearlessly. So, here are his Three Cosmic Rules of Writing.

1. You are enough to be the writer you want to be RIGHT NOW. No need to take that next course, perfect your knowledge, whatever. You’ve got it, so write, and don’t be hung up on the idea that the party’s happening somewhere else (Robert Redford thought Paul Newman, unlike himself, had it made.)
Work with what you are given. This is different from ‘write what you know’ in that what you are given may be the curiosity to develop a new situation in which to learn something. Every environment if filled with operatic passions. Tap the ones around you.
Writing begets writing–and its corollaries, thinking is the enemy of writing, research is the enemy of writing. Don’t stop . Check that fact later. Keep writing, and if you are stuck use that with a character who is stuck.

Now, rejection. It feels personal, but it’s not. It is arbitrary, based on factors totally out of your control. It feels awful and should be mourned, but after a day or two, get back to work. That said, if we are really cast down by rejection, figuring out what it means to us (not what “it means”–it means nothing about you) will help put some distance between between our feelings and our ability to work. Does the rejection confirm some theory about you, or how we felt growing up?

The point is, you can’t give “you” if you don’t think “you” is good. If we are pre-disposed to believe negative stuff, we won’t fare that well–being an artist is not for sissies. Rejection hurts because it’s supposed to. As humans we make meaning out of everything. Make helpful decisions about the meaning of rejection.

And finally, delightfully, Dennis Palumbo, insists that writing makes things happen. “Keep giving them ‘you’ until ‘you’ is what they want.”